You Are Allowed to Be Unfamiliar

The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung explored a concept called the persona, the social mask we develop to navigate the world. While this mask is a natural part of human life, Jung believed that identifying too strongly with it could disconnect us from other aspects of ourselves.

He also explored the shadow, the parts of our psyche we reject or repress. Although often associated with darker emotions, the shadow can also include qualities and desires we’ve learned to hide. This makes me wonder how much of what we call our personality is genuinely ours.

Without even realizing it, we spend years following rules and expectations that were never really ours. We learn what is acceptable, what is admired, and what is criticized, slowly adjusting our choices to fit into the world around us. And it doesn’t always happen in dramatic ways. Sometimes it’s a style we’ve always wanted to try, a hobby we’re curious about, a spiritual belief we feel drawn to, or simply an opinion we keep to ourselves because everyone around us thinks differently.

People often become attached to the version of us they know. When we begin exploring something different, they might interpret our growth as a rejection of who we used to be. But being unfamiliar to someone doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve become someone else. Perhaps we’re simply revealing something that was always there, waiting for the opportunity to exist.

How many things had I avoided exploring, not because I didn’t want them, but because someone else had already decided they were wrong?

Of course, authenticity doesn’t mean acting on every desire without reflection. There’s a difference between questioning something because it doesn’t align with our values and rejecting it simply because we fear judgment. As I continue exploring spirituality and my own beliefs, I’m realizing that growth often means becoming unfamiliar, even to ourselves.

Like the moon, we move through different phases. Not every part of us is visible at every moment, but that doesn’t make those hidden parts any less real.

When I look back at who I was a year ago, I don’t judge her for what she didn’t know. She was simply navigating life with the awareness she had at the time. And I hope that a year from now, I’ll discover even more about myself.

So, if there’s something we’ve always wanted to explore or a side of ourselves we’ve hidden to make others comfortable, perhaps it’s time to listen more closely to our own voice. We are allowed to be unfamiliar. To others, to the world, and sometimes, even to ourselves.

The person we’re becoming is someone we’ve finally given ourselves permission to meet.