Your Triggers as Your Guides

Welcome to another moment together!

I am excited to share something new with you again.

For  today’s topic I chose triggers and their guiding role, how they lead you deeper into healing and hidden parts of your inner self.

Before we get started, let me ask you what you need to make your space cozy. Is it a cup of tea, a candle, a blanket? What speaks to you most right now ?

So, what are we going to speak about today?

Noticing your triggers can be a way to go deeper into your healing and your heart.

For example, if I get triggered when someone is not messaging  as quickly as I hoped they would, what does that say about me?

Feeling and seeing another person judges someone is triggering? Why?

Feeling shame about your body is triggering? Oh, I understand you very well so figuring out and releasing the shame is crucial. Takes time and practice (I am on my way as well).

Can you imagine a scenario where you were triggered by something another person did, a topic, your body, anything that comes to mind?

How did that feel?

Why do you think that trigger showed up?

Phew, how activating these topics are. Let’s get into it!

My recent examples on triggers

I have a couple of examples that I feel like sharing.

First , what I find great in any trigger situation is to step out of the emotion/sensation itself, especially if we speak about anxiety, remind  yourself to breathe , and allow yourself to feel. Taking a few deep breaths, remembering that that trigger might as well be an old wound coming up so it’s not even always just that moment that is triggering. It is something from the past resurfacing.

What helps me get out of the depth and breathe in fresh air is that. Remembering that now I have a way to control such situation and feelings. Realising  that I have a deeper understanding af the trigger’s meaning. Recognizing that’s I can ask this question: what does it mean?

And remembering that it  takes time. The process takes time and doesn’t happen in a second.

When I started writing this post, I didn’t know such a great example would come soon after.

About 2 days after I started writing, I had a conversation with a person close to me. We already have different experiences of the world- he is a man, and I am a woman.

But what happened?

The conversation took about 3 hours, my emotions were wilding. We talked about topics that I feel so strongly about and so does he. We expressed our opinions, at moments we felt like we want to prove that each of us had the right opinion.

And what I can tell you after this conversation is that healthy communication takes practice and deep work on oneself.

Some triggers and feelings that I noticed and wanted to share

• Having a different opinion and wanting to expose it on another person, change their viewpoint

• When the other person says something, I strongly disagree with, having the feeling of “going into battle”

• So tightly holding on to what is known, that feels like a protective layer

• Hearing a word and out of context taking offence

• Forgetting that I am speaking to another person, who just as me has opinions, inner workings, experiences, views, etc. And just trying to push the “one and only” right opinion.

• Feeling a trigger when I hear something that I don’t agree with, believe in (can be in many situations)

• And many more…

And one more thing that I noticed in the days after our conversations—how dark a person’s lens can feel.

We each have our experiences, traumas and  view of the world that shaped us. What I increasingly noticed these days is that much of what I feel now had been formed by by my past life traumas

Something that happened 10 years ago is still affecting my view on the world, not even from the mind, but deep from  the body.

So, my question automatically was—how to heal something that is so deep? It most definitely will take time, but I am in.

Triggers also have showed up not only in a conversation with someone else , but also just in daily life. Something I see in the world, something another person does or says , something that is outside me or within . I am working with it all :)

How I am working with the triggers now

• Expanding  my view of any triggering situation, trying to “think outside the box” and see the bigger picture

• Having  difficult yet necessary conversations

• FEELING my emotions. In my opinion, Something that is rooted  so deep in the body cannot be healed just through mindful exercises and conversations to myself . Journaling is a wonderful tool, as well as meditation. But what I have found a necessity was  FEELING my emotions and Practicing a healthy way of expressing them to others

• Self-soothing techniques (such as  deep breathing)

• Speaking kindly to myself, in a loving, understanding manner

• Pausing whenever I can and reflecting a bit on what is happening in me

I’m so glad if anything from this post resonated with your thoughts and feelings. Wishing you best of luck in  navigating these triggering moments!

I am with you on this journey!

With love and light,

Ella Renāte