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The Mirror Ritual

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The Mirror Ritual

Meeting the Parts You’ve Disowned

There’s a moment, and if you’ve done any real shadow work, you know the one, where you catch your own reflection and something behind your eyes isn’t quite you. Or rather, it’s more you than you’ve been willing to admit.

I had that moment three years ago, standing in my bathroom at 2 a.m., still shaking from a conversation where I’d swallowed every word I actually wanted to say. I’d smiled. I’d nodded. I’d been so understanding. And I hated myself for it.

Not the polite, socially acceptable kind of self-frustration. The deep, gut-level revulsion that only comes when you’ve betrayed something fundamental in yourself, again, and you know it.

I looked in that mirror and thought: Who the hell are you?

The answer, it turns out, was everyone I’d ever decided I wasn’t allowed to be.

The Mythology of the Divided Self

What We Actually Disown (And Why)

Why a Mirror

The Mirror Ritual

The Ritual: Five Phases

After the Ritual: What Integration Actually Looks Like

Coming Back to the Mirror

Read more

Comments

Vivian
VivianFeb 18
This writeup here really hit me deep
Obsidian
ObsidianFeb 19
so powerful...thank you
Silver
SilverFeb 19
This is pure and authentic. Power and clarity. No lullaby. Thanks
Katie Byers
Katie ByersFeb 20
thank you all so much for your kind words. these are compliments that mean SO much to me.
Toya
ToyaFeb 20
very beautifully written. thank you for sharing such a simple yet powerful ritual.
Shaina Cheatwood
Shaina CheatwoodMar 1
Kate. I don’t even know how to share this without it seeming like a therapy session, but reading this actually brought some old memories to the surface. This is going to maybe sound strange… I did this practice instinctively as a child and teenager. I think my mom thought I was obsessed with my image or some kind of narcissist (?) but gazing into the mirror while I thought things through or processed events or emotions made me feel calmer, somehow connected to myself. I forgot that I used to do that, until I read this. I guess I stopped doing it when I realized how other ppl (my parents, sister) perceived it. But yeah, this is a practice I viscerally feel the value in, because I’ve lived it before.
Shaina Cheatwood
Shaina Cheatwood @Shaina CheatwoodMar 1
And, can I just tell you one more thing that might seem crazy? I sort of want to know what you think about it. I used this practice instinctively for manifestation. I would look at myself while I imagined things- a scenario, a regular day, actually talking to someone I had a crush on, etc. Sometimes I might talk a little or say things out loud instead of only in my head, but mostly it was about just, I don’t know…. Using the mirror and that connection to myself to CREATE. I forgot that I used to do that, too. And the crazy thing is, I remember it working for me. Even if what it really did was create self-confidence that wasn’t there organically, or solidify what I wanted in my mind, it did allow me to create or manifest situations and opportunities.
Katie Byers
Katie Byers @Shaina CheatwoodMar 2
Your childhood mirror practice? Brilliant self-witnessing that got shamed into silence. Your teenage manifestation work? Embodiment that created real confidence. Both prove you've always known how to do this work. I will respond deeper on Substack..
Katie Byers
Katie Byers @Katie ByersMar 2
it appears there are character limits here.